how to show up for your life

I recently read a post over at The Daily Love about the importance of showing up - for your life, your dreams, your ambitions. It got me thinking.

The instruction on TDL was to show up daily for our dreams. I like this. And I agree.  Be present with and for yourself. Be consistent, have integrity, do your thing daily.

But the instruction opened some questions for me too.

I don't know how it's done now, but when I was growing up, our teachers kept big brown spiral bound leatherette books on their desks. The books contained ledger sheets, the ledger sheets contained names and next to the names so many tiny boxes, one for each day of the school year, to be filled with checkmarks or codes which signified Present, Absent, or Tardy, Excused or Unexcused.

There were big social rewards, prizes, and public acknowledgements for having a Perfect Attendance Record - that is, showing up every day and never being Tardy. I think it was OK to have a very occasional Excused Absence for something like going to get your allergy shots or attending your grandmother's funeral. A Perfect Attendance Record was an admirable social accomplishment, something for which both teachers and other kids admired you. It was unlike the accomplishment of a Perfect Report Card, for which teachers and parents loved you, but which made you an object of suspicion and sometimes scorn among your peers.

In case you haven't already figured it out, I had a perfect report card and a very spotty attendance record.

I was an anxious child and a misfit, and I had a very difficult and often chaotic home life.
Showing Up Daily and Not Being Tardy was pretty much out of reach for me. Straight A's were not. I was smart, and I loved to be lost in books, and homework was something I could control.

For many, many years beyond my childhood, my life reflected this formative experience with Showing Up. Showing up for personal accomplishments and creations was easy. I made amazing, straight-A stuff.

Showing up in simple ways for other people, or for powerful social structures, was way harder, because of a difficult and often chaotic inner life; the ghost of my childhood home life.

Through deep healing, I have begun to learn how to show up in all the important ways in my life - I've taught myself the simple consistency and discipline that leads to the equivalent of a decent attendance record, which in turn makes the wheels of life turn more smoothly; my bills are payed and I've met my deadlines.  And I feel blessed that I learned very early in life to show up daily for my inner work and creativity, for imagination and contemplation.

I believe showing up in BOTH of these ways is key to a well-lived and artful life.
I also see that my own particular journey is perhaps not the norm. I think many of us learn early that getting all the boxes ticked in that big ledger can bring a measure of ease, and some nice social rewards. So we may go through life efficiently showing up and ticking the boxes and reaping the rewards, but then also wondering about a lack of spaciousness, an absence of passion, a subtle sense of disconnection which haunts us despite our apparently thorough consistency and integrity.

So, here's my advice: by all means tick the boxes. Keep your word, pay your taxes, do your job in the world. Do it mindfully, and with love. This is essential. But don't make the job of ticking the boxes SO BIG that your life becomes small.
Showing up is essential. But just showing up won't get you there. Be discerning about what you show up for. Be mindful of how you show up, and why. Here's what I want my Showing Up to be:

I want to practice a kind of showing up for life that opens me to the spacious beauty of being, not a showing up that distracts me with more ambitious do-do-doing.

I want to practice showing up for the true vastness of my dreams of possibility, not for the binding ambitions of my ego.

I want to practice a showing up for others that opens my deep heart of compassion and allows the pouring out of my true gifts, not a showing up that merely adds lines to my Resume of Good Deeds.

I want to create a consistency that is gorgeously rhythmic, not numbingly mechanistic.

I want to create an integrity that reflects a wholeness of heart, not just an ability to connect the dots (or tick the boxes.)

I want to practice a showing up that is deep, soft, and forgiving. 

How do you want to show up for your life?

some days you need a little comfort

these tulips were 3.99 at the grocery store. they sat on my desk all week and brought me infinite pleasure. always bring home flowers.

Hello Beautiful,

How is today? Is today a beautiful, exciting, artful, creative day for you? I really hope it is. And I hope that many, many of your days are beautiful, exciting, artful, and creative. And peaceful. And full of ease.

And I know, some of your days are not. Some days are sad, rushed, messy, and difficult. In fact, if you are like most women, I would guess a substantial proportion of your days are rushed, messy, and difficult.

Today was that day for me. You know that day, when you wake up with paper thin skin, you're in the mood to remember your childhood wounds, and the smallest criticism can set your boat rocking for the rest of the day? Well, today my skin is thin, my scars are tender, and my boat is rocking. Everything's OK - just the same as it was yesterday, when I was feeling deliciously optimistic and cheerful. It's just... that day. So what do you do when you find yourself in the midst of that day?

In one of the lovely on-line circles I belong to, there's been discussion lately of what we can do to nurture ourselves on that day. I love seeing each woman's list of little creature comforts, and it's remarkable, really, how simple those comforts can be, and how universal some of them are. So here are a few ideas. For next time you are having that day.

 Some universal comforts, tried and true, tested by women over the centuries:

• take a hot bath
• prepare and quietly drink a steamy cup of tea
• have a heart to heart with a woman friend
• spend time in nature, near water
• engage in prayer
• prepare and eat your ancestral comfort food
• light candles
• fluff your pillows and make your space smell good
• listen to music that you love
• move your body 
• cuddle your pet
• write freely in your journal
• give your nearest loved one a very long hug
• raise your eyes to the sky and take a long, slow, deep breath.

If you work your way through this list, by the time you get to the long, slow, deep breath, you'll be feeling so, so much better.

Now, I'm off to take a hot bath.

P.S. Oh! On a more festive note... I wanted to let you all know about the *highlight* of my weekend - my wonderful chat with beautiful Tranquilista Kimberly Wilson, for her podcast Tranquility du Jour. We delved into all the delicious details of the Seven Keys to an Artful Life, while our black pugs each snored on our respective laps. Have a listen. It was such a fun conversation.

creating a balanced life: drawing on the wisdom of the body

Hi Beautiful,

What does it really mean to you, the idea of living a balanced life? 

I think this idea of pursuing life-balance is becoming increasingly popular because we feel somehow that we have lost, or are losing our balance. As women, especially, it seems balance in life evades us.

I didn't really learn about balance in life until I became a dancer. Before that, balance seemed a static thing that I had to arrange for and think carefully about; a balanced checkbook, a balanced composition in my paintings, a balanced diet; all these things required planning and induced anxiety. With dance, I found my center of gravity, and with it, a whole new idea of balance.

I was not a very physical person before I started dancing at age 30. You could say I was cut off from my body. I was clumsy, physically uncertain, intellectual, and ever so slightly round in the shoulders. I still am all of these things, a bit, but dance has allowed me to inhabit my body in a very satisfying way, and I have gained grace, wisdom and equilibrium from this precious sense of embodiment.

So, life-balance....  Here is what my body has taught me about achieving it:

• Maintaining balance means moving & changing continually.
• Sometimes a very tiny movement is all that is needed to bring exquisite equilibrium.
• You can lose your balance by going too fast, or too slow.
• Try to HOLD TIGHT to your balance and you will surely lose it.
• Always be aware of what your gut is telling you.
• Relax, and hold everything around you in a loose & gentle focus.
• Breathe, breathe, breathe.
• A little bit of fear will keep you moving and alert. A lot of fear will bring you down.
• And this: The feeling that you are about to lose your balance is the natural hallmark of being balanced and moving at the same time.

I'll be writing more about life-balance in the coming weeks; it's an idea I'm really interested in exploring right now. There are no magic formulas, I'm sure of that, because each of us has such a unique pattern and rhythm to our days and lives - but there are some universals in the human need for emotional and spiritual eqilibrium.

Journal Prompts:

For Writing: What does balance really feel like to me? Where do I feel it in my body, and what is the sensation? When do I feel balanced in my life?

For Visual Journaling: Grab your pile of magazines and a glue stick. Find a quiet space, breathe, and search for a feeling of balance in your body. Without thinking about it too much, start tearing out pictures from the magazines that match this feeling. Create a collage from the results. What does it show you about your idea of life-balance?

bed day

On Tuesday, I had an important meeting. A lot was at stake. I had been preparing for months. I was stressed. It went well, and I was proud of myself. On Wednesday, as a mini retreat, and to nurture the bad cold I'd predictably come down with, I took a BED DAY. It was great. I highly reccommend it. Above are some scenes from my comfort zone. What does yours look like? (btw, my sweetie calls this kind of zone a woman-nest.)

bedtime

I've been struggling with sleep lately. For most of my life I've been a good sleeper; I love to sink in to my cozy, soft bed, I value my dream life, I like naps. In recent months, though, I've been struggling with light, disturbed, anxious, and sometimes sweaty sleep, and waking still tired. The lack of deep rest is taking its toll on my overall sense of well being. Last weekend I indulged in an hour with a really talented card and tea leaf reader - this was the kind of reading that gives you deep insight into the present, and access to some of the secrets of your higher self. One of the first things she said to me was "You have to start getting better sleep. You're having anxiety and impaired judgement due to lack of sleep." Well. That was it. I came home resolved to care for my sleeping self better! On the way home on the plane, I pulled out my journal and did a quick assessment of my current sleep situation: cluttered bedroom, worn sheets in a cool grey colour, TV at the end of the bed, snoring pug wedged between me and my sweetie. Also late nights, coffee in the afternoon, wine and dessert after dinner. Oh, and what ever happened to my yoga before bed? On the way home from the airport I bought new sheets, high thread count in a creamy vanilla colour, and also a bottle of melatonin. I used to have such a lovely bed time ritual, I do remember how to care for myself in this way - so over the last week I've been slowly slipping back into this really important piece of self-care. Here is a list of what I've been doing. How/what is your bed time ritual?

• no screen time for one hour before bed
• drink a big glass of water one hour before bed
  
• long, yummy, candlelit scented bath
• tidy, candlelit bedroom
• fresh sheets
• scented candle and/or incense
• 15 or 20 minute restorative or detoxifying yoga sequence (again, candlelit!)
• self-foot-massage with sandalwood scented oil
• decaf tea and happy reading in bed
• 3 mg melatonin

And hooray, the last two nights I've actually slept through the night. I feel better - better enough to be really motivated to maintain this routine of self-care. Are there any little changes you can bring in to make your evenings more peaceful?

10 Reasons Why I Love Living on the Island

• going to sleep to frog song and waking up to bird song
• buying fresh organic free range eggs from our neighbor for $2 a dozen
• having friends of all ages from 4 to 90
• not locking my door, ever
• the ocean - being surrounded by it
• it's like an intentional community of misfits
• harvesting oysters, clams, berries, nettles, and other beautiful wild food
• yes you can eat nettles, you just steam them first
• tall, tall trees
• dogs are allowed to come to dances
• I know everyone's story and they know mine

Artful Reminder:

Soulful, artful island RETREATS for women - make art, journal, dance, do yoga, practice deep self care, learn to celebrate the sacred in daily life - all with a group of like minded women in our forest retreat at the heart of our Gulf Island... YUM!!!!!! Read more here.

above, scenes from a recent walk. I love the plum greys of sea and sky this time of year, and the vivid green of the moss.

Oh, it is blissfully quiet here this morning! The fire is warm, I can hear that cozy occasional ping-crackle as the iron expands and the wood settles. I'm looking out over the damp meadow, quiet under a lavender sky. My daughter is taking her college entrance exams this morning, which started at the ungodly hour of 7:30 AM. She and my husband had to get up and be ready for the 6:40 ferry. I only felt a little bit guilty putting the pillow over my head until 8! Now I am enjoying a rare Saturday morning alone in the house. I made coffee (organic locally roasted fair trade espresso YUM) in my tiny one cup espresso pot that I bought at the hardware store down the street from my apartment in Florence. (This is actually a big treat, as I rarely drink coffee.) I'm burning Nag Champa. (Also a treat: my husband lived in a yoga centre for 7 years and now cannot abide the smell of incense, and it gives my daughter a headache.) I'm still in my soft fleece robe, and the dog is snoring. In an hour or so I get to go to the first yogadance class of the season. My temperament rarely allows me to experience moments of simple well-being, so I am particularly grateful for the gift and the grace of a moment like this. May you all have a wonderful weekend with many moments of well-being.

celebrating 2009

I sat with my beautiful moon group last night in G's cozy office (imagine an office that is actually a little cottage in the woods, which you find by following the trail of white shells through the forest in the moonlight. Imagine an office scented with woodsmoke, sandalwood, and beeswax, with a roaring fire in the woodstove, warm throws on the cozy couches, bookshelves full of sacred women's wisdom, the sound of raven calls and soft rain falling outside...) Together we breathed a sigh of relief to be letting go of 2009. It was a year of big challenges and changes for all of us. It's been difficult for me to sit down to the important ritual of a year end review, because it was such a challenging year. It wasn't a year of showy accomplishments or big adventures. But after sitting down with my circle of women, and also spending some time with the "virtual circle" of creative women whose blogs I follow, I feel ready to gently look at the year that just passed, its sadnesses and subtle gifts, its questions and celebrations... and let it go. So here is my little celebration of 2009, through the lens of my 7 keys to an artful life:

move your body daily joyfully
I'm so grateful that 2009 found my love of dance flooding back after an absence of several years. I loved organizing co-teaching the second annual women's sacred dance retreat with Gillian over the Vernal Equinox, and leading a weekend mini-retreat in the North in May. Performing with Gillian at the Dances of Hope benefit was a highlight. Teaching a weekly private class to an amazing group of artful women kept me moving through the hot summer and into the fall. A fall class in Restorative Yoga opened my spirit to new possibilities for physical learning & healing, and brought lessons in surrender and trust.

nurture your precious spirit-self
I'm grateful for the many early mornings I was able to spend in meditation & study with my sweetie. Together we read and studied the writings of Shantideva, Pema Chodron, Chogyam Trungpa, and Thich Nat Han. I'm also glad to have begun working with my beautiful moon circles, both face-to-face and here on the blog. Setting intentions for each moon has become a really powerful and positive practice for me.

practice loving self-care
I lost 14 pounds in 2009, and I did it in a slow, steady, healthy way. I'm really proud of that. I had some help in doing some profound personal healing, and I'm really proud of that, too. I made lots of little changes which have allowed me to take better care of myself on many levels, ranging from a new hairstyle and make-up regime that makes me feel really cared for, to better self-discipline in the way I organize my days.


find your authentic livelihood
Livelihood has been one of the biggest challenges of 2009. Some things worked and lots just didn't. I'm proud of my continued hard work and dedication to my ceramics business. I enjoyed having an open studio through the summer and meeting so many clients and getting so much wonderful feedback. I studied so many business books and marketing blogs, I feel like I've learned a lot that I'm eager to put into practice in 2010! Little highlights have been: making over the Terra Home blog, designing a gorgeous custom fireplace for a client (most fun job of 2009), participating in the pottery studio tour in May, attending & participating in the dragon kiln firing in March, designing a new line of dishes in October.

create a tranquil home
I read a wonderful book in June about creating a sense of sanctuary in your home. I made some little changes this year that brought me closer to that ideal; a room makeover for my daughter, new floor and baseboards in my bedroom make it feel like the shiny sanctuary I've always wanted it to be, I made over two old pieces of furniture into faux chinese antiques - LOVE them! Whitewashed the livingroom floor, fenced off a big area for a veggie garden, took down a number of trees to bring in more winter sunshine (and winter firewood!), switched to all home made eco-friendly cleaning products, put in a new kitchen sink, taps, and countertop (happy shinyness!)...and... committed to keeping my desk clean!






tap into abundant creativity
Creative flow is one of the big gifts and blessings of my life, for which I am always grateful. For me, creativity is a constantly flowing, fresh stream - my real challenge is finding enough time and peace of mind to manifest all the wonderful ideas! Highlights for 2009 were the times I got to share my creativity, teaching art and dance and helping clients design beautiful spaces.

cultivate healthy relationships
I loved spending more fun time with my daughter, who'll be flying the nest soon - I treasured our time spent in the kitchen together, or watching trashy TV with popcorn and cocoa, or indulging in yoga/swim/steam at the local spa. I deepened and renewed family connections during my cousin's wedding week, and will always remember the spontaneous skinny dip with my aunt, cousin, and daughter, in the lake below the site of our old family cottage - pure magic!! Last but not least, another highlight was rescuing our little dog Chloe, who has brought so much laughter and fun into the house:










Artful Reminder:



I'm giving away one of these sweet leafy ceramic dishes to one reader on january 11. To be entered in the giveaway, just go to this post and leave a comment.

Artful Life Moon Circle - Full Moon Check In

What is the Artful Life Moon Circle? To find out and join our circle, read this post.

Such an extra special full moon this time around! This full moon in Cancer fell on New Year's Eve, was a "blue moon," and there was a lunar eclipse! This coincidence of events make it an ideal time to embrace change and set intentions, especially in our inner, emotional lives, and in our home life. The lunar eclipse always marks an important inner shift, often reflected in outer changes during the month around the eclipse. We can best use the powerful eclipse energy by paying special attention to our intuition (what shifts do we know we deeply need?), and to the subtle shifts in energy around us (what changes do we sense on the horizon?) If we can be deeply honest with ourselves, we will be much more able to ride the energy of change, and practice acceptance. What is shifting in your world? What support do you need now to face changes with grace? How can you access that support? What are your instincts telling you? You can share some of your responses here in the comments, and allow the moon circle to support you!!! Happy Full Moon, Happy New Year, and I'm wishing you grace and well-being through all the moons of 2010!

Artful Reminder:



I'm giving away one of these sweet leafy ceramic dishes to one reader on january 11. To be entered in the giveaway, just go to this post and leave a comment.

Artful Life Moon Circle - Full Moon Check In

photo from www.nightpath.org

I know, I know - I haven't checked in with the moon or this moon circle for a couple of months. I even missed a few moons with my face-to-face moon circle. But we were back together on Tuesday night, G's house was clean and serene as always. I love her clay coloured walls, soft leather furniture, vivid textiles on the walls, smell of incense, beeswax candles, warm woodstove, gentle feminine atmosphere. We snuggled in to the big soft sofas, toasted with red wine, then started spilling. It seems the last six weeks have been thick with experience, some of it really, really challenging. The strength of women amazes me. Between us we had horrible court appearances, financial crises, deaths, seriously ill spouses, work dramas, child dramas, and the usual repertoire of broken dryers, broken cars, needy children, and sundry messes to deal with. Ironically the circle was cut short by a minor child emergency, just as the mother was explaining how she was finally beginning to understand Margaret Atwood's idea of The Edible Woman. Ha! So in the (now waning) fullness of this moon, I just want to take the opportunity to reflect on and celebrate the fullness of our lives, and wish us all the fullness of our strength and powers to live through it all with joy and courage!! If you'd like, I'd be honoured if you'd share in the comments what your biggest challenge of this moon has been, and how you've met it. Happy Full Moon!

Odilon Redon's Buddha - I've probably posted it before, but I love it so much!

I've had a few nights in a row of being up late working - and last night we came home on the 11 o'clock ferry from Winterfest (dinner at the school for my daughter's graduating class) and all the dishes from the cheesecake I made for the potluck were still sitting on the counter, mixing bowls and beaters with congealed sour cream and hardened chocolate, eggshells, butter wrappers, cocoa powder. I washed and he dried. Then I did a load of laundry and returned some e-mails. So this morning I was tired. I stayed in bed for awhile with my light box, my snoring pug, a cup of tea, and my new Shambhala Sun magazine which arrived yesterday. There's a wonderful article by John Tarrant about living with joy through difficult times and loss. I wanted to share a gem from that essay:

When I meditate it's like calling out a spell in a forgotten language. The spell slowly traces the outlines of a door, making the way out visible, even in twilight, even in the darkest, most forgotten prison. When we lose money or get a diagnosis, we might decide that this is a bad thing, but we might be wrong. Uncertainty and the unknown are not things to endure: they are things to rely on. If you don't even consider winning or losing, there will always be a doorway. -John Tarrant in "It Would Be a Pity to Waste a Good Crisis" Shambhala Sun, January 2010.

ayurveda & maintaining balance in seasonal change

Staying connected to the rhythms and cycles of the natural world is very important to me. We suffer from too much separateness in our world as it is now; at worst, immersion in the modern world can create an almost complete estrangement from the true rhythms of nature. I believe this amounts to an estrangement from our bodies, our creativity, each other, and our deepest selves. When we work, live, and travel in comfortably controlled environments, communicate and receive information about the world through electronic devices, we need to remember to connect with the real, tangible, and powerful forces of our actual natural environment. If we can maintain that organic connection, then all the shiny tools and comforts of our created world can be enjoyed and understood, in the greater context of nature. Perhaps maintaining this connection can help us to create new technologies and comforts which work in harmony with nature.

It's not such a daunting task, staying connected. Just pay attention - to the weather, to the moon, to the voice of your body, to the seasons. Get out there sometimes, and just be in the weather. Staying connected to the seasons has been a powerful practice for me since I left the ease and warmth of California for the intensity of the temperate rain forest of coastal B.C.. I love the times of seasonal change for the feelings of excitement and renewal they bring into my life. Like all times of change, however, the seasonal changes can bring a little vulnerability, and a challenge to stay in balance. Ayurveda, the traditional East Indian wellness practice, offers tools for staying in balance through the seasonal changes, and for keeping our bodies in balance with the larger rhythms. The transition into Fall is often a bit challenging for me, so I thought I'd look into how Ayurveda could help. Here's what I learned:

According to Ayurveda, September is the beginning of the Vata season, which lasts til around Winter Solstice. Vata energy is one of the three Doshas, or universal energies. Vata has the qualities of movement, activity, light, coolness, dryness, agitation. It is related to the element of Air. We are prone to imbalances of Vata during this season of late summer and early fall. Vata imbalances can manifest as:

• an over-active, agitated mind
• sleep disturbances
• low immunity
• achy joints
• dry skin
  
• loss of focus
  
• chills
• digestive problems
• worry and anxiety

Right? I've been suffering from all of these things in the last couple of weeks! So what helps? Here are some suggestions I found for restoring balance during Vata season:

• Stay hydrated by drinking lots of water or warming herbal teas.
  
• Keep to a regular, and gentle, schedule, especially with sleep. Go to bed early, and rise early.
• Practice restorative yoga or another gentle physical practice - stay active without overdoing.
• Stay warm! Practice gently warming yoga poses like backbends and extensions.
• Eat warming cooked seasonal food like squash, brown rice, and nourishing soups.
• Take immunity enhancing herbal supplements.
• Avoid too much travel, too much work, staying up too late.

These all sound like healthy, appealing suggestions, and I might even be able to integrate a few of them into my Fall routine. But the suggestion I liked the best was:

• practice self-massage every morning with warm, scented oils (sesame oil is traditional.)

That sounds like a wonderful, self-nurturing practice, and well worth making time for. So if we do a few of these things, focus on slowing down, staying warm, and nourishing ourselves with seasonally appropriate foods and activities, (common sense, right?) then we can expect to experience the best of the Vata season, which is:

• healthy energy
• clarity of mind
• awakened senses
• renewed sense of purpose
• positive momentum

Ayurveda is a sophisticated and complex ancient science. I found a good lay person's introduction here, if you are interested in learning more.

living a sacred and sensual life

I believe our creativity blooms when we are nurturing our authentic spirituality, and when we are in touch with the sacred. For me, the sacred is very tangible, in the beauty and fragility of the rich web of life in which we live, and in the tender soft spot in our hearts which connects us with others and constantly reminds us of our shared humanity. I see the sacred and the sensual not as antithetical, but as deeply interwoven. Living a sacred and sensual life means cultivating awareness of and participation in our physical world; cultivating aliveness of all five senses; and cultivating love and appreciation for our own precious selves, bodies, and physical experiences

My own spiritual practice defies labeling. I am a committed Buddhist, because of the deep joy and inherent practicality I find in the Buddhist path. Over millennia, Buddhist practitioners have created incredibly powerful technologies for combating human suffering, both social and individual. These technologies - I call them this because they are practical sets of tools - mindfulness, study, meditation, and precepts for ethical living - continue to transform my life and my psyche for the better.

Alongside my Buddhist practice exists my natural and lifelong inclination towards folk magic and the sacred wisdom of women. My domestic life, my life-cycles, my body, my relationship with nature - all are supported by my deep connection to these earth-based traditions. Again, I am drawn to these traditions because they are both joyful and highly practical. I take pleasure in learning about worldwide and historical traditions of folk wisdom & spiritual practices.

I love incorporating ritual into daily life. For me the idea of daily ritual encompasses not only the time we set aside as sacred, apart from our mundane activities (like time for prayer or meditation) but also the acknowledgement of our mundane activities as sacred in themselves, the bringing of mindfulness and gratitude to our everyday. Much of what I share in this blog is about this part of our lives - bringing sacredness and creativity to our everyday. This is hugely important to me!

I can find things to admire and learn from in most of the world's spiritual traditions. Does it support well being of self, society, and earth? Does it engage the critical mind enough to encourage a thoughtful and living set of ethics? Is the idea of non-harming highly valued? Are earth and her creatures, including us, seen as innately good? Then the tradition earns my respect.

My next "7 Keys to an Artful Life e-Course" begins September 5th, 2010!
Start your autumn season with 7 weeks of creativity, life-balance, self-care, and fun. Read about it here.

embracing natural life rhythms

fal·low (fal′ō)
noun

1. land plowed but not seeded for one or more growing seasons, to kill weeds, make the soil richer, etc.
2. the plowing of land to be left idle in this way

Etymology: ME falow fealh, akin to fealh, harrow, felly (of wheel) pelk-, to turn > Gael olca, fallow land

adjective

1. left uncultivated or unplanted
2. untrained; inactive: said esp. of the mind


I have been having a bit of what is usually known as "down time." I've been down, and slow, and not focused on being out there or productive. These fallow times are always a struggle for me - I think they are for many of us. Here's what I wrote in my journal:

So it's been one of those low rhythm stuck slow kinds of weeks where all kinds of deadlines projects and ideas just seem to evaporate from my brain. These times are very uncomfortable and I berate myself for being unproductive. But I think they come about naturally out of a need for rest and reflection, and sometimes a need for a new direction. One of the most difficult things about being self-employed is learning to respect my natural rhythms without giving in to either sloth or frenzied busy-ness. What I would like is to be able to honour and acknowledge these times as natural periods of re-assessment, rest, mental freedom, useful doubt, creative questioning, and fallow or root-growing time. I would like to make room for these times in my life, honour them, and contain them in a little womb of safety. I would like to create enough structure around these times so that necessary work gets done, deadlines are met, and obligations are not neglected. Perhaps most importantly, I would like to learn to truly honour my instincts and rhythms enough to not feel angry and guilty, wrong and bad for these slowing down times.

How do you experience fallow times in your life? Do you have any special strategies for nurturing yourself through such times? I would love to hear.

Artful Life Moon Circle - New Moon!

Welcome back to the Moon Circle! I love New Moon days, my monthly opportunity to start fresh. Hosting this circle has already been a powerful experience for me; making the commitment to be here for you has allowed me to also be here for myself and commit to the process of intention setting. It's good.

Last month my intention was to begin to joyfully and consistently create sanctuary in my surroundings........ and watch what other gifts and lessons doing this might bring into my life.
How did that go for me? Well, my house is much shinier and more peaceful. And I've had some real insights into the reasons I held on so long to dis/order. And I have a manageable routine in place for continuing to make and keep my home shiny and sacred. All of that feels really good, and maybe what feels the best is that I kept an important commitment to myself by following through with my intention.

How did you do with your intention last month? I'd love to hear about your experience here in the comments. I believe your experience is valuable, whether it is the contentment of having kept that promise to yourself, or whether it is the frustration and disappointment of having fallen short of your aspiration. What is valuable is what really happened, and what you have learned from it. If your original intention was a good fit for your life now, if it was specific, measurable, and manageable, chances are you followed through with it. If you weren't able to follow through, take a look at the questions here and see what insight you can gain to make this month's intention workable:

• did you try to do too much too fast? this moon, think baby steps.
  
• were you vague? (ie "My intention is to get organized" wouldn't have worked for me last month!) this moon, try to keep your intention specific and measurable so you can measure your success.
• did you do an intuition check? this moon, take a moment to check in with heart and gut and see if your intention really feels like the right thing for you now.
  

My intention this moon flows out of last moon's intention. I want to continue to work with the theme of bringing gentle order & creating sanctuary; I'll continue to focus on my home, but my special intention for this month is to re-commit to the physical practices that I know support my well being. I have to be careful here to follow my own advice and not overcommit! What I believe I can manage is this: 15 minute meditation daily, at least 20 minutes of dance or yoga at least 4 times a week, and daily attention to mindful eating - that is, being aware of my food choices. My hope is to establish a manageable rhythm that is something I can maintain consistently. What I have noticed is for years now I pick up these important practices for months at a time, then drop them for months, pick them up, drop them, pick them up... so my New Moon intention is not so much about the practices themselves, but about finding a way to make them a consistent and ongoing part of my daily life. I think I can gain valuable self-insight from attempting this, because the picking-up-and-dropping pattern is a big sticky pattern in many areas of my life.

Now, to you! Take as much space as you want in the comments, anytime over the next few days, and share insights gained from last moon plus this moon's intention - there is power in this circle of women under the moon! Let's reach for it!

domestic details

So you know I've been working on creating sanctuary by bringing order and beauty to my domestic world - I'm taking a break from painting the bedroom floor to post some evidence of my progress - just a few simple domestic vignettes. It feels so good to begin to support new habits, and take pleasure in small oases of clarity & loveliness... is there a spot in your place that you can bring some harmony and beauty to today? A desk drawer, a medicine cabinet, a bedside table, a dresser top?

I repainted the white windowsills and adorned them with daisies in spice jars:

THIS was a big deal. I've been drowning in paper piles for months. Maybe years. The paper piles are not hidden - they are sorted and filed! And I love my desk!Look, I even cleaned the drawer! I put in a little dish of lavender, so it smells wonderful when I open it...

Alder side table courtesy of my sweetie...

More forest furniture, and a whole new phone corner...

Found a few treasures while cleaning up...

goddess time

Antique rose in bloom outside my bedroom window. These intensely fragrant blooms are only the size of apple blossoms.

I've been engaging in this practice for a while now, but listening to this podcast gave me a name for it... goddess time. Yes! This is a practice for busy women with lots of responsibilities and demands on their time and person. (That's pretty much all of us, right?) Here's how it works for me. On Sunday morning, my time is my own. No one else (including my internal taskmaster) can tell me what do, or even make requests. No phone. No e-mail. It could be a walk, or yoga, or blogging, or a wander in the garden, but usually it's bed, tea, scented candle, journal, pens, huge stack of books and magazines, plus the little dog who thoroughly approves of mornings in bed. I've worked to make my bedroom feel like a little sanctuary, so I relish this *free* time I get to spend there. It makes the whole week easier. Where can you fit some goddess time into your life?

things to do on the new moon

To me it's like a mini-New Year's every month. It's a chance to begin a-new, reset the cycle, plant seeds, plant goals, be fresh. One night it's all in darkness; the next night there's this delicate sliver of silver, just a thread in the twilight, setting with the setting sun. It always takes my breath away. I get this little surge of hope, an affirmation that it is always possible to begin again, that we all, always, have a chance at a clean slate. I love that magic! Here are some things that are traditionally done at the new moon or while it's waxing, also some things I think work well with new moon energy:

• plant seeds & seedlings
• take a personal day & set monthly goals
• start a savings or investment account
• make a wish
• begin a creative project
• swim naked in the ocean
• send out resumes
• get married or
• propose marriage or
• go on a first date

Just a few ideas - you get the picture, though, it's a time for cleansing, renewal, setting intentions, and beginning anything to do with abundance, the emotions, etc.. Do you want something to increase? Then take steps towards it, symbolic and practical, on the new moon. It's magical thinking, it's metaphor, it's folk tradition, it's really just another way to feel a sense of belonging in the world, by seeing your intention mirrored out there. And we so need that sense of belonging. So give it a try.

nurturing self-care: celebrate you!!!

Well, my excuse for this post is that today is my birthday! Yay! I love birthdays. The sun is shining after a few days of rain. My daughter and my little pup snuggled in bed with me this morning while the sun streamed through the white curtains, I grabbed my journal & coloured pencils & tarot cards & dear daughter did a reading for me, spreading out the cards on our soft turquoise 9 patch quilt in the filtered sunlight. It was incredibly insightful & helpful *sneak peak below* then my sweetie brought me breakfast in bed including toast with extra butter. THEN all the dogs started barking because bff was standing at the door holding a new rose bush (white/pink blush, double, elegant, old fashioned bourbon type and super fragrant; she knows me!) and as if that all weren't enough my sweetie actually booked a pedicure for me. A seaside spa pedicure. Pedicures and extra butter! Wheee!

I love to feel special on my birthday, and I love to make others feel special on theirs. There is sacredness and mystery in the day we are born - have you ever been in a birthing room? Our birth anniversary is the time to remember that joy is our birthright. It's a funny thing; although my birthdays are almost always really lovely & magical, I am often sad, mad, and depressed for the days leading up to *my* day. All these ugly feelings of un-deserving and self pity come rolling in like stormy surf. Then the day dawns and life is good and I can relax and enjoy. This isn't about aging, I don't really mind about aging. (My grandmother is 95 and she rocks. ) I think it's really all about deserving, and I think many of us struggle with this one. Do I deserve to celebrate my self? Is my life special? Do I deserve to be celebrated for simply being? And the answers should be yes, yes, and a resounding yes. It's really important to take the time to honour ourselves; for our accomplishments, yes! But also just for our being. In Buddhism there is the idea of keeping a primary focus on gratitude for our precious human life. Not a guilt-ridden-not-sure-I-deserve-it kind of gratitude, but a joyful, certain gratitude that rises up in your heart like love. YES! I celebrate my precious human life. How can you celebrate yours today?

Wellness Wednesday: The Chance for Growth

I was reading earlier today, while waiting for the ferry, in the pocket size Pema Chodron book Awakening Loving-Kindness which I carry in my bag. I was reading about the Buddhist idea of practicing gratitude for our precious human birth. The idea is that we are supremely fortunate to experience these human lives, which are neither relentlessly painful nor numbingly comfortable. We are in the ideal environment, the optimal circumstance, for growth and awakening. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, this little zone of potential on the continuum between comfort and pain. We hear a lot about "getting out of our comfort zone" and "finding our edge," but it's easy to forget the delicacy and sense of equilibrium needed to find the growth zone instead of just pushing right into pain. In our culture we seem to hold both the ideal of luxuriating in comfort and the ideal of aggressive ambition. Many of us end up in a cycle of alternating workaholism and indulgence in pursuit of these ideals, then wonder why we're not growing or experiencing fulfillment. It's a fine balance, finding that sweet spot, the zone of growth. The physical practice of yoga can teach us; we find the ease and energy in the pose when we push ourselves enough but not too much. Paying close attention to the cycles of nature can teach us; sometimes tuning in to the natural equilibrium around us all the time just knocks me down with awe. Most of all we can learn by listening deeply to our own intuition and body wisdom. Where have you found your zone of growth? What practices do you use to nurture equilibrium?