nurturing self-care: celebrate you!!!

Well, my excuse for this post is that today is my birthday! Yay! I love birthdays. The sun is shining after a few days of rain. My daughter and my little pup snuggled in bed with me this morning while the sun streamed through the white curtains, I grabbed my journal & coloured pencils & tarot cards & dear daughter did a reading for me, spreading out the cards on our soft turquoise 9 patch quilt in the filtered sunlight. It was incredibly insightful & helpful *sneak peak below* then my sweetie brought me breakfast in bed including toast with extra butter. THEN all the dogs started barking because bff was standing at the door holding a new rose bush (white/pink blush, double, elegant, old fashioned bourbon type and super fragrant; she knows me!) and as if that all weren't enough my sweetie actually booked a pedicure for me. A seaside spa pedicure. Pedicures and extra butter! Wheee!

I love to feel special on my birthday, and I love to make others feel special on theirs. There is sacredness and mystery in the day we are born - have you ever been in a birthing room? Our birth anniversary is the time to remember that joy is our birthright. It's a funny thing; although my birthdays are almost always really lovely & magical, I am often sad, mad, and depressed for the days leading up to *my* day. All these ugly feelings of un-deserving and self pity come rolling in like stormy surf. Then the day dawns and life is good and I can relax and enjoy. This isn't about aging, I don't really mind about aging. (My grandmother is 95 and she rocks. ) I think it's really all about deserving, and I think many of us struggle with this one. Do I deserve to celebrate my self? Is my life special? Do I deserve to be celebrated for simply being? And the answers should be yes, yes, and a resounding yes. It's really important to take the time to honour ourselves; for our accomplishments, yes! But also just for our being. In Buddhism there is the idea of keeping a primary focus on gratitude for our precious human life. Not a guilt-ridden-not-sure-I-deserve-it kind of gratitude, but a joyful, certain gratitude that rises up in your heart like love. YES! I celebrate my precious human life. How can you celebrate yours today?

The Fool

Our homework this week from Elena at Inner Revealings Tarot was to spend some time with the first of the Major Arcana ( the 22 cards of the Tarot that represent the great archetypes, the stages on the souls journey ), and reflect on the meaning of the archetype in our own lives. I've lived with the Tarot imagery for so long, and I really want to take Elena's homework as an opportunity to revisit these familiar images with beginner's mind. I chose to by-pass my intellectual knowledge of the card by engaging in some creative play (a great Fool activity!) and making a spontaneous collage of my own inner Fool! Here are the results. She's now sitting on my bedside table, encouraging me to reflect on her qualities. I am by nature a very goal-oriented person: I like plans, order, and security. The Fool challenges me to remember the importance of nurturing my creativity with occasional spontaneity, risk, adventure, travel, and imaginative flights of fancy! I've already started researching retreat centres in Hawaii to teach at next winter!
Here are some positive Fool qualities I manifest:

• childlike vision
• ability to take risks
• love for nature
• hope
• big dreams
• desire for adventure
• beginner's mind approach to the spiritual

and a few shadow Fool qualities I'd like to transform:

• procrastinating on responsibilities
• not always considering consequences of actions
• occasional negative impulsiveness!

For more about the Fool's qualities, visit Inner Revealings here.

Tarot Thursday

Another wonderful blog adventure from Elena - a day to share the wisdom of the Tarot! Read more about Tarot Thursday here. The Tarot is an ever-changing book of mysteries, a map of the soul's journey through life, a series of doorways into the collective unconscious, a repository of the archetypal wisdom of western culture, and a powerful tool for self-reflection & insight into other souls. For me, the Tarot has been a life-long companion. I grew up in a bohemian household. Our rambling farmhouse was filled with art and books, and while most parents were celebrating the suburban lifestyle with bridge and cocktail parties, mine filled the house with poets and painters, beatniks and hippies, wine, music, simple french food, and spirited intellectual debate. One day when I was about five, a great poet came to visit. I remember him as very old and grey, also as clear and gentle. Sitting at the big kitchen table one afternoon (my mother had probably set out a dish of olives, some fresh baked bread, some wine...) he brought out an old deck of Tarot cards, and read for my mother, then for me. I don't remember anything that he said to me - I do remember that he was very patient and spoke to me with great seriousness. But the most vivid part of my memory is the imagery of the cards. The two cards pictured above were in my reading (which was a traditional Celtic Cross spread). The Star was in the centre, and the Four of Wands was the outcome card. I believe this was a sort of life reading. These symbols have followed me through my life, and have given me hope in dark times. Shortly after the poet's visit, my mother went out and bought two decks of cards, one for herself and one for me. That deck is the one I still use today. So this is the story of the beginning of my relationship with the Tarot... more to come next Thursday!