Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

1.9.10

the one I embrace for life


We have to learn the art of creating happiness. The problem is not one of being right or wrong, but being more or less skillful. Living together is an art. -Thich Nhat Hanh


Ask yourself, would I rather be right, or happy? -Dr. Phil

It seems sometimes that the relationship itself becomes a third entity, there between you; The Marriage. It can be a boundary between you or an element that unites you.  Long relationships flow along and change, they have their tidal upheavals, their ebbings and fullnesses. The cycle is quite beautiful; it tempers one. It can feel hard in the day to day. My sweetie and I have a shared belief that carries us through the rough patches - it is the belief that the purpose of marriage is a spiritual one; the purpose of marriage is to learn unconditional love. 





Journal Prompt
 What am I learning right now from my most intimate relationship?

22.9.09

mixed media art by Bronwyn Simons, teacher of creativity and life balance retreats for womenHere's a mixed media piece I made in 2008. I gave it to my sweet cousin, who is getting married this week!!!! I wish her (and all of us!!!) a home and partnership which always provide safety, sanctuary, joy, and a place to nest!

12.9.09

"love is an ancient delirium..."

living with an open heart, like this pink antique rose, illustrating a beautiful quote about loveThis beauty was blooming outside my friend's yoga studio - it looks like my tender heart feels sometimes.

I adore this quote from Diane Ackerman:

Love. What a small word we use for an idea so immense and powerful. It has altered the flow of history, calmed monsters, kindled works of art, cheered the forlorn, turned tough guys to mush, consoled the enslaved, driven strong women mad, glorified the humble, fuelled national scandals, bankrupted robber barons, and made mincemeat of kings. How can love’s spaciousness be conveyed in the narrow confines of one syllable? Love is an ancient delirium, a desire older than civilization, with taproots spreading into deep and mysterious days. The heart is a living museum. In each of its galleries, no matter how narrow or dimly lit, preserved forever like wondrous diatoms, are our moments of loving, and being loved.

20.8.09

Artful Life Moon Circle - New Moon!

Welcome back to the Moon Circle! I love New Moon days, my monthly opportunity to start fresh. Hosting this circle has already been a powerful experience for me; making the commitment to be here for you has allowed me to also be here for myself and commit to the process of intention setting. It's good.

Last month my intention was to begin to joyfully and consistently create sanctuary in my surroundings........ and watch what other gifts and lessons doing this might bring into my life.
How did that go for me? Well, my house is much shinier and more peaceful. And I've had some real insights into the reasons I held on so long to dis/order. And I have a manageable routine in place for continuing to make and keep my home shiny and sacred. All of that feels really good, and maybe what feels the best is that I kept an important commitment to myself by following through with my intention.

How did you do with your intention last month? I'd love to hear about your experience here in the comments. I believe your experience is valuable, whether it is the contentment of having kept that promise to yourself, or whether it is the frustration and disappointment of having fallen short of your aspiration. What is valuable is what really happened, and what you have learned from it. If your original intention was a good fit for your life now, if it was specific, measurable, and manageable, chances are you followed through with it. If you weren't able to follow through, take a look at the questions here and see what insight you can gain to make this month's intention workable:

  • did you try to do too much too fast? this moon, think baby steps.
  • were you vague? (ie "My intention is to get organized" wouldn't have worked for me last month!) this moon, try to keep your intention specific and measurable so you can measure your success.
  • did you do an intuition check? this moon, take a moment to check in with heart and gut and see if your intention really feels like the right thing for you now.
My intention this moon flows out of last moon's intention. I want to continue to work with the theme of bringing gentle order & creating sanctuary; I'll continue to focus on my home, but my special intention for this month is to re-commit to the physical practices that I know support my well being. I have to be careful here to follow my own advice and not overcommit! What I believe I can manage is this: 15 minute meditation daily, at least 20 minutes of dance or yoga at least 4 times a week, and daily attention to mindful eating - that is, being aware of my food choices. My hope is to establish a manageable rhythm that is something I can maintain consistently. What I have noticed is for years now I pick up these important practices for months at a time, then drop them for months, pick them up, drop them, pick them up... so my New Moon intention is not so much about the practices themselves, but about finding a way to make them a consistent and ongoing part of my daily life. I think I can gain valuable self-insight from attempting this, because the picking-up-and-dropping pattern is a big sticky pattern in many areas of my life.

Now, to you! Take as much space as you want in the comments, anytime over the next few days, and share insights gained from last moon plus this moon's intention - there is power in this circle of women under the moon! Let's reach for it!

20.7.09

Artful Life Moon Circle - New Moon! Creating Sanctuary

I found this image on this Twilight series fan page (I was just googling new moon images - honest!) I don't usually love this silky airbrush fantasy style at all - but there's something about this that evokes the soft and magical marine new moon twilights of the place I live.

Welcome to the first Artful Life Moon Circle! (You can read about this circle in this post). I'm very much looking forward to sharing our New Moon intentions, and feeling the power of those intentions increase as the moon grows. To get you started, here are some ideas for positive intention setting:
  • Small steps are best. You can build on small steps. My ambitious intention to "transform my home into a sanctuary" can begin with the do-able intention to "organize and beautify my bedroom this month, and cultivate the habit of keeping it that way!"
  • Maybe you have a long list of stuff that could be better - and you want to do it all. I know! But wholeheartedly committing to your one intention allows you to focus, and succeed. There will be many more moons!
  • What area of your life needs the most attention right now? Can you set an intention for nurturing that area? The seven keys to an artful life include these facets of life: body, spirit, self-care, livelihood, home, creativity, and relationships. Which facet is crying out for attention in your life?
  • Once you set your intention, find some quiet time during this new moon day to write about it (or collage it!) in your journal, and share as much of that writing as you want here. Give yourself some manageable action steps and ink them in to your calendar "On Friday I will paint my bedroom floor white." " Next Tuesday I will go to yoga class" etc.
  • So... your intention might look like this: "My home is crying out for attention. It doesn't reflect how I really feel inside, and it doesn't feel like the orderly, nurturing, sacred environment I want it to be! I want my home to be a sanctuary! This moon, I will start by bringing the feeling of sanctuary to my bedroom. I will organize, paint the floor, and slipcover the chair. I will spend 5 or 10 minutes daily keeping it orderly and clean. I can commit to this intention. .. it is the first step towards my ideal of home as sanctuary."
  • Please share as much or as little as you'd like here. You can tell us what is hard, what you want, where you feel stuck, and how you would like to begin.

So my own intention for this moon, as you've heard, has to do with creating sanctuary. A sanctuary is a holy place, a place of protection, a place of refuge. How deeply I want my life to better reflect that ideal! I want the feeling of sanctuary to fill my heart, and spill over into all areas of my life! Notice I have said creating sanctuary; not the more usual finding sanctuary - because I am coming to see that the sacred and peaceful heart is made by us every day; it is created piece by piece through our accumulated actions and thoughts. This all sounds quite grand! But for this Moon, I want to begin creating sanctuary in the most tangible and mundane way - by beginning to transform my relationship with my home.

I have always seen the wisdom in the ideas that our physical surroundings mirror our psychic state, that transforming the energy flow in our homes can transform our personal energy, and that, to put it plainly, gentle order is good for the soul. At the same time, I have struggled with the drudgery, and the politics, of housework, and my inner rebel has balked (digging in the heels of her Docs) at engaging wholeheartedly in something so... well... conventional. Don't get me wrong - I like making my home beautiful, and my friends occasionally accuse me of being organized. The thing is, the process has never been joyful. There has been intentional self-denial and self-sabotage. And fear. And a lack of authenticity. And plenty of grime and dust bunnies (which are sooo not as cute as they sound.) And I really haven't been able to figure it out, or find a way to joyfully and consistently create sanctuary in my surroundings. Which is what I want to do! But now... somehow, mysteriously, over the last few weeks, something has clicked into place for the first time: caring for my home can be an act of self-love, and act of devotion, a creative outlet, and a spiritual practice all at once. Wow. I kind of got this in theory before, but I'm starting to feel it, and with that feeling, find some ease in doing it. This is all really new, and it feels good, and I want to use this New Moon to really set that intention to begin to joyfully and consistently create sanctuary in my surroundings........
and watch what other gifts and lessons this doing might bring into my life.

That's it! And you?

All About The Artful Life Moon Circle!

Are we really affected by the phases of the moon?
Does the moon exert some magical pull on our watery bodies or our primitive minds? Maybe. What I do know for sure is that to flourish, we need to feel connected to the world around us. The practice of patterning our lives, even in small, symbolic ways, on the patterns of nature can be very affirming. For me, the cycle of the moon is a beautiful reflection of the cycles of increase and decrease in my own life.

I love the tradition of "Moon Circles,"
women meeting together under the new and full moons to share our joys and sorrows, our dreams and intentions, and of course our wisdom and support. Aligning these qualities with the lunar cycles can be super-powerful.  I've been a part of many of these circles face to face, and I really would love to bring the power and healing of these gatherings here to The Artful Life.


Here's how it works:
On each New and Full Moon days, I post my intentions for the coming moonphase. Then I invite you to leave a comment, with your own intentions and reflections. Writing your intentions and sharing them with others will help keep you accountable to yourself, and you'll have the benefit of all the yummy energy and encouragement from the other artful women in the circle, not to mention the moon magic.

The New Moon is a great opportunity for new beginnings and goal setting , so you might want to set an intention for something you want to INCREASE or GROW as the moon waxes.

The Full Moon is an opportunity to reflect on this growth, and to set an intention for something you would like to DECREASE or RELEASE from your life as the moon wanes.

 I think you will be thrilled with the extra power boost you give to your intentions by sharing them with the circle, and matching them to the powerful symbolism of the lunar cycles.

Everyone is welcome! To join the circle, just drop by  The Artful Life on New & Full Moon days, read the post, and add your intention to the circle, either silently or in the comments.

To learn more about working with lunar rhythms, you can print out the In Tune With the Moon Cue Card I made for you, click here for a large, printable version.

You might also want to check out these posts:



19.7.09


A friend just e-mailed me this wonderful video, it's too good not to share!! Enjoy.

24.6.09

three watchers on the beach tonight, under a moody sky

There is a beautiful moody sky tonight, the leafy alder branches are dancing in the wind, silhouetted black against the blue-gray cloudy twilight sky. The peacocks are crying across the meadow, sounding a bit mournful. After many days of sun, it rained today; I woke to the soothing summer sound of rain on the leaves. I made brownies tonight, and red lentil soup, because I needed that feeling of making comforting rainy-day food, to combat the chill and melancholy. Today felt like the last day of that yummy new beginnings Solstice New Moon energy, so I wanted to do as many things as I could to "set" my intentions for the next bit (month, quarter...) Here are the symbolic actions I have taken since Solstice, along with the intentions I wish these actions to set in motion:
  1. Met with wonderful women friends on the beach to share intentions. TO BE MORE IN TOUCH WITH CIRCLES OF WOMEN'S WISDOM.
  2. Took time for reading and journaling about forgiveness. TO LET GO OF ANGER.
  3. Spent lots of creative time in the studio. TO GROW MY BUSINESS JOYFULLY & INTUITIVELY.
  4. Signed important financial papers. TO BE EMPOWERED IN MY FINANCIAL LIFE.
  5. Got back in touch with a powerful healer to ask for assistance. TO CONTINUE MY HEALING JOURNEY AND ASK FOR HELP WHEN I NEED IT.
  6. Attended my first yoga class with a new teacher. TO LOVINGLY CARE FOR MY BODY AND SPIRIT - DAILY!
  7. Had honest conversations with my daughter and my sweetie. TO HONOUR AND NURTURE MY MOST INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS.
These are my intentions for the season. What are yours?

7.6.09

musings on letting go with grace


Sometimes an era in our lives ends abruptly, through some sudden outward change. Sometimes the end is scheduled and anticipated. More often, though, things shift and transform slowly around us (and within us) until we find ourselves standing on new ground. How do we know when it's time to let go of one thing so *new & wonderful* things can flow into our lives? I've been pondering this question, because I seem to find myself standing on new ground in many ways these days. I've let a few things go: an avenue of my work that just wasn't working for me anymore; a long time relationship that was no longer nurturing me; and some habitual ways of communicating that really needed to go. For a while I've been in that in-between place, just still hanging on a little bit, not that sure, a little scared and sad. Today I woke up and felt sure, and with that certainty came the relief of setting down a burden, and then, elation. I don't have to be stuck! I can step forward into new possibilities, and I don't have to keep doing IT just because I've been doing IT for so long.... no matter what IT is. I even dreamt last night that I was travelling with lots of luggage, and I realized there were two whole suitcases I just didn't need - they were mostly empty anyway - I took a few pieces out of them and then left them behind. Wow.
I wish I could tell you what finally did it; what was the key to letting go with grace! I know the things I've been writing about here lately actually have helped - tuning in to natural cycles, listening to my dreams, striving for balance, sharing my truth. I'd really love to know what keeps you moving through times of stuckness; what is your magic for letting go? Please share!

26.5.09

nurturing self-care & community: be a locavore


To my mind there's always been a romance to eating locally. I was raised by artists who gardened, so I have marvelous childhood food memories. Digging potatoes at night, reaching into dark loam to unearth that treasure, smooth and yellowy white, mirroring the full moon. Reaching under the downy breast of the hen and bringing out that treasure, still warm, speckled brown. Gathering wild fiddlehead ferns in earliest still-snowy spring, how amazingly delicious they were with lots of butter. Early morning trout fishing with my father, followed by trout-for-lunch; my mother rolled them in flour and fried them in a big cast iron skillet. That's what "eating locally" conjures for me. I'm very excited that this is a philosophy that many people are beginning to embrace; the rewards of local eating are huge, going way beyond the positive social & environmental impact. The rewards include increasing the sensual pleasure in our lives, connecting more deeply with our place and with the cycle of the year, connecting more deeply with our community, both physically and socially. On a subtle level I believe this kind of connection, when nurtured, leads to a deep and ineffable sense of ease and rightness in our lives which so much entertainment and consumption just won't bring.

I am blessed to live in a place which has always boasted a wealth of beautiful food. The original foods of this place are salmon, shellfish, venison, wild greens like nettles, chantarelle mushrooms, also berries, so many berries. We eat all of these things directly from our wild home. For the last century or so, agriculture has become a part of this place, so home food options now include milk, cheese, and eggs, lamb & mutton, grass-fed beef, apples, and vegetables and herbs galore. The eggs I eat come from hens that I can watch from my windows as they happily forage in the grass. I make blackberry smoothies all year from the blackberries I gather in two or three happy sunny September days right on my own property (the photo was taken last September). Clams and oysters are regular summer fare, after a walk on the beach with a bucket and trowel. What are the foods of your place? Do you know what the indigenous foods were? Do they survive? Do you eat locally? How? How does it make you feel? I'd love to hear.

14.5.09

nurturing self-care: celebrate you!!!

Well, my excuse for this post is that today is my birthday! Yay! I love birthdays. The sun is shining after a few days of rain. My daughter and my little pup snuggled in bed with me this morning while the sun streamed through the white curtains, I grabbed my journal & coloured pencils & tarot cards & dear daughter did a reading for me, spreading out the cards on our soft turquoise 9 patch quilt in the filtered sunlight. It was incredibly insightful & helpful *sneak peak below* then my sweetie brought me breakfast in bed including toast with extra butter. THEN all the dogs started barking because bff was standing at the door holding a new rose bush (white/pink blush, double, elegant, old fashioned bourbon type and super fragrant; she knows me!) and as if that all weren't enough my sweetie actually booked a pedicure for me. A seaside spa pedicure. Pedicures and extra butter! Wheee!

I love to feel special on my birthday, and I love to make others feel special on theirs. There is sacredness and mystery in the day we are born - have you ever been in a birthing room? Our birth anniversary is the time to remember that joy is our birthright. It's a funny thing; although my birthdays are almost always really lovely & magical, I am often sad, mad, and depressed for the days leading up to *my* day. All these ugly feelings of un-deserving and self pity come rolling in like stormy surf. Then the day dawns and life is good and I can relax and enjoy. This isn't about aging, I don't really mind about aging. (My grandmother is 95 and she rocks. ) I think it's really all about deserving, and I think many of us struggle with this one. Do I deserve to celebrate my self? Is my life special? Do I deserve to be celebrated for simply being? And the answers should be yes, yes, and a resounding yes. It's really important to take the time to honour ourselves; for our accomplishments, yes! But also just for our being. In Buddhism there is the idea of keeping a primary focus on gratitude for our precious human life. Not a guilt-ridden-not-sure-I-deserve-it kind of gratitude, but a joyful, certain gratitude that rises up in your heart like love. YES! I celebrate my precious human life. How can you celebrate yours today?

10.5.09

nurturing ourselves on mother's day


My blessings to you today if your kids brought you breakfast in bed (and then cleaned the kitchen.) Blessings if you're just heading out for lunch then a pedicure with Mum, or if like me, you got the most terrific card in the world (above.) Blessings to you especially if this isn't your reality. Maybe, like my sweetie, your mum is far away, in the hospital, and too sick to talk on the phone. Maybe it's your first year without your mum, or maybe you aren't able to be together lovingly, for one of a million different possible reasons. For both mothers and daughters, and maybe especially for those of us who are both mothers and daughters, this day can be fraught. Today is a beautiful sunny day, I hope, that brings you some ease and celebration, and some family intimacy, some chocolate and champagne... Maybe the day also brings an extra awareness of that soft spot, the open heart, the young part in all of us that still craves unconditional love and nurturing, wisdom, and the power to chase the monsters away. So many of us truly need to learn to mother ourselves well. So my Mothers Day wish for you is that you begin to find this ultimate nurturing in yourself. I wish for you the gift of some time to yourself today, with a cup of tea and your journal, so you can begin to answer these questions:
  • What part of me still needs nurturing? (my body, my playful side, my inner artist, my innocence, my health?)
  • Am I nurturing that part, or am I waiting? What am I waiting for?
  • What can I do today to begin to nurture myself better? (make an appointment with my doctor [or therapist or financial adviser or lawyer or massuese...] , schedule a personal day, buy a new journal, sign up for a dance class, hire a housekeeper, forgive myself..)
I'll leave you with some wonderful art-eye-candy for mum's day - these are a few of the pieces from a mail art show, Mother Madonna May Queen, that I curated a few years back. It opened on Mother's Day, and the challenge that went out to the mail artists was "send me a picture of a mother you love...". ( By the way, if you don't yet know about the wonderful world of Mail Art, you're in for a treat. I'll post about it soon!!!)


by Lu Minoti


by Patricia Kambitsch

by Carole Reidby Patricia Kambitsch

by Carole Reid

29.12.08


My sweetie and I have a special New Year's ritual. Every Christmas/Solstice time we decorate the house with greens; cedar, spruce and holly gathered from our own woods. We clear out these decorations, along with the Christmas tree, on New Year's Eve, and light a fire in the meadow with them. Into the fire, along with the greens, go symbols of anything we want/need to let go of in the New Year. We watch the fire until it burns out, toast with some single-malt scotch, and talk about what we want to bring in to our lives for the new year.

Here is one of my favourite poems, by William Carlos Williams. To hear the poet himself reading it, go here.

Burning the Christmas Greens

Their time past, pulled down
cracked and flung to the fire
--go up in a roar

All recognition lost, burnt clean
clean in the flame, the green
dispersed, a living red,
flame red, red as blood wakes
on the ash--

and ebbs to a steady burning
the rekindled bed become
a landscape of flame

At the winter's midnight
we went to the trees, the coarse
holly, the balsam and
the hemlock for their green

At the thick of the dark
the moment of the cold's
deepest plunge we brought branches
cut from the green trees

to fill our need, and over
doorways, about paper Christmas
bells covered with tinfoil
and fastened by red ribbons

we stuck the green prongs
in the windows hung
woven wreaths and above pictures
the living green. On the

mantle we built a green forest
and among those hemlock
sprays put a herd of small
white deer as if they

were walking there. All this!
and it seemed gentle and good
to us. Their time past,
relief! The room bare. We

stuffed the dead grate
with them upon the half burnt out
log's smouldering eye, opening
red and closing under them

and we stood there looking down.
Green is a solace
a promise of peace, a fort
against the cold (though we

did not say so) a challenge
above the snow's
hard shell. Green (we might
have said) that, where

small birds hide and dodge
and lift their plaintive
rallying cries, blocks for them
and knocks down

the unseeing bullets of
the storm. Green spruce boughs
pulled down by a weight of
snow--Transformed!

Violence leaped and appeared.
Recreant! roared to life
as the flame rose through and
our eyes recoiled from it.

In the jagged flames green
to red, instant and alive. Green!
those sure abutments . . . Gone!
lost to mind

and quick in the contracting
tunnel of the grate
appeared a world! Black
mountains, black and red--as

yet uncolored--and ash white,
an infant landscape of shimmering
ash and flame and we, in
that instant, lost,

breathless to be witnesses,
as if we stood
ourselves refreshed among
the shining fauna of that fire.

1944

27.12.08

fresh start

10 ways I am marking the turning of the year:

cleaning out cobwebs, nooks and crannys

organizing drawers and closets

paying as many old debts as possible

creating feng shui cures in my home

taking 15 minutes every morning for mindfulness meditation

renewing my commitment to my sweetie

thoughtfully writing my goals for the winter quarter
in my new goals journal

burning the yule greens
(an ancient ritual of renewal)

resting

going to a New Year's Eve dance!



24.12.08


Diwali Lamps in India


Votive Candles in Italy

Butter Lamps in Tibet

Warmest love and blessings to all as the light returns! Happy Holidays. Peace on Earth.

18.12.08

snowbound

This is truly unusual for us. West Coast winters are wet and mild and muddy. Snow doesn't happen often or stick around for long... but this one takes me back to my East Coast childhood, with the drifts blowing up to cover the first floor windows!! We woke up the other day to over two feet of this lovely, nostalgic, cushioning, quiet, white, tranquil, beautiful stuff!!!!!! Above is my daughter celebrating. Below is the view from my bathroom window.

Our front walk, above, and driveway, below:

and a view down our road at 4pm!

12.10.08

gratitude day


Well, if you are in the States you may not know this, but this is Thanksgiving Weekend in Canada. It's basically the same holiday, just substitute Monday for Thursday, hockey for football, and skip the mall frenzy (we do that on Boxing Day.) I admit to a bit of ambivalence about this holiday. I'm not keen on consumerism, colonialism, or factory farming (or hockey and football, for that matter, sorry to say...) but I love holidays and feasts, the pagan in me loves the idea of marking the seasons and celebrating harvest, and the buddhist in me appreciates the idea of taking a whole day for gratitude. And honestly, I love food and cooking and taking a day off to eat! But it's bittersweet. Bob and I are both distant from our extended families, and we feel it now, when most friends are off to celebrate with crowds of relatives. Still, I enjoy making a really festive day for our little family of three. Above is our menu - my daughter and I love to cook together and to make an occasion of meals, so this is right up our alley. We have no one to please but ourselves, so we cook what we want; often salmon, which is the original feast food of our part of the world. Right now it's almost noon, I'm still in my pj's, sipping a Mimosa, Bob's out cutting firewood in the sunshine, and dear daughter is organizing her fall wardrobe. Soon we'll go for a long walk in the sunshine, then enjoy preparing our modest feast together. Here is what I feel truly grateful for:
  • a beautiful child who is flourishing and healthy
  • a wonderful life-partner
  • a warm community where I feel a sense of belonging
  • the opportunity to live in a beautiful, clean, safe, and peaceful part of the world
  • the opportunity to do work that I love every day
  • my own health
  • the exquisite natural world which surrounds me
There are many many more things that could go on this list. I would love it if you would share with me, with a comment, the things for which you are grateful today.

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...