28.5.08

crazy busy or deliciously full?

The weather is still exquisite. I love the poignant fullness of this time of year, all the green is still so fresh and tender, the air smells of clean ocean and the sap rising in the wild roses. Last night driving home from dance class along the shore the beauty of the evening just caught me up and filled my heart: glassy ocean misty pinkish horizon full tide soft green leaves -- everything so tender and impermanent. It's lovely and I want to be outside all the time. Saturday evening we had our first outdoor dinner: Fresh sockeye salmon grilled perfectly by Bob, with fresh mango salsa, risotto, a big salad of organic baby greens & sunflower sprouts with my signature vinaigrette YUM. Robin & Katerina brought a large pitcher of glorious sangria and a good time was had by all.
But here is the real reason we have been eating outside. Yes, I do have a 750 square foot studio with three rooms, a sink, marvelous light and high ceilings. And yes, this is my dining table, where I have been creating all the pieces for the upcoming show. One, I like to be with my family while I work. Two, the mixed media area of the studio is a pretty big mess right now. I tote baskets and boxes of thing over from the studio to the house for a project, then stuff things back in them willy nilly when I need the dining table, then return them to the studio; I'm sure you can imagine the cluttered surfaces and overflowing boxes! The upshot is, though, that eventually my mind becomes cluttered too, and everything slows down. I love a serenely ordered and beautiful environment, yet I am often in a frenzy of creativity and probably overcommitted, so I tend to leave a trail of interesting mess behind me each day. What to do? Accept that seeking balance is a beautiful and worthy pursuit -- and relax because perfect permanent balance is unattainable! But don't relax too much, or you'll completely lose balance! This is my ongoing conversation. I notice that I tend to think of my life as "crazy busy" which doesn't foster feelings of serenity. How about "deliciously full?"

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